duane michals (favourite photographer!)

i'm back in frankfurt,the internship is over school started again
i forgot how cruel this feeling is
the empty senseless feeling after something you were longingly waiting for passed
i mainly sleep since i'm back,ignoring everything which i'm actually supposed to do
my clothes are still in my suitcase,i'm not even thinking about doing something for school
last week i was convinced that something in my mind changed
i even thought positive for some secounds and i resolved to change something in my life
do more on my own,with my hands,clothes and all that stuff..you know what i mean..right?
actually just DO something,not only existing.
but now everytime i wake up from all the sleep i take i just start thinking again
i really want to do something but nothing comes to my mind
i stay in the same position for hours,just thinking
about probably
nothing
all the words which i collected in my head which i wanted to post here:gone
all my ideas for clothes,jewellery:gone
all the book,movies i wanted to read/watch:way to exhausting
meet friends..uff.
tomorrow i'll drink a lots of coffee because
1.it keeps you away from food and i have to loose some weight (god save fast food,thank you berlin for all the weight i gained) and
2. it will maybe give me the motivation to do more than..
nothing
i like coffee
i'll change my life tomorrow and i today i'll start with watching i heart huckabees

arcade fire-ready to start

daddy was a great captain commander chief general
and a flykiller killer killer
never left a bridge before midnight but what do i know about
me?
3 monkeys blind, deaf and senseless
and you...
where did you get that scratch
climbing trees?
flykiller never left a bridge before flykkiller
where did you get that scratch? climbing high trees.
climbing caste, your cast is later
leather seats..and a blonde on my arm
although, i miss the air after rain
in my spacecraft now as i cruise the sought of the future makes me feel
insecure
makes me feel uncertain
theres very few things we belive would never change
the way you put your face to the sun
i keep my left hand on my private emergency button
i could have myself locked up and safe
safe and secure

snejana onopka

Last day in berlin.
sunny but freezing cold
trying to avoid the black and cold feeling, somewhere near my chest which is trying to drag me down from floating,
with a lots of euphoria for the blue sky and the shiny winter atmosphere

1.via
2.karlie kloss for marc jacobs
3.farwell my summer love
4.taxi driver

pretty in pink and roses and flowers and kittens and rainbows and candyfloss
glitter and feathers,satin and silk, floating drapery and tulle, pure skin,rosey cheeks, butterflies and gardens
hotpants and sunglasses and big hats and red wedges and asphalt and big citys

"Would you ever be convinced to shoot rainbows and kittens, pulling funny faces?"
"No"

via

snow in berlin

we are trees-chain smokers of america

so one week is over serpil is packing her stuff to go back to frankfurt tomorrow
in the last week
i had a wonderful time with mika,went to a alots of fairs like bread&butter and premium, ate the most delicious food ,went to a lots of amazing showrooms,gained about 10 pounds,lost everything by running through berlin,went to the fashionweek pre opening party&fashionweek opening party&a gay club,starred at chloe sevigny while she was checking out what i wore,went to broken hearts club,talked to chloe sevingy,bumped accidently into a picture of cobra snake,refused to go out at friday night,bought a lots of secoundhand clothes,went to the fashionweek closing party,was quite bored nearly everynight(i'm so fashion i don't do "dancing"),ate too too too much,realized that sleep is definitly NOT overrated and that the whole "fashionscene" with all it's arrogance and fake enthusiasm is not really my thing,spend a lot of time in the kitchen watching everyone else smoke,met the loveliest people in berlin and mainly forgot to think.
every hour,every secound was just like i expect my life to be when i finished school,moved to berlin and study
the end of THE week ,everything is compareable to the last words of a good book
i'm terrible sad,i have the feeling that nothing will ever make me feel that good again but in the same time i know that something new&better will come again
so here we go again

one week left

only with less parties and more time to sleep
good night

smith westerns-still new

V Magazine Online Editorial "Megabytes of Spring"

dancing to kisses-lovers in the supermarket while buying more wine to go to another crappycoolfun party
friday night : too tiered to move
good night

1.dazed and confused
2. rocha spre
3.unknow

so me and serpil arrived in berlin yesterday evening
after having homemade pizza and a lots of wine we went out to see tennis(the band) live
the whole fun started when we went to the supermarket to get more wine
we had to wait for ages so we started to analyze the people by the food they bought
we got more and more drunk and i sat down in the tube next to a guy and his boyfriend and they starred at me and i felt uncomfortable
i don't remember why but suddenly he took a pair of slippers ,which look like little puppys, out of his bag
and said something like: "well if you go at night you have to take something with you which makes you feel comfortable"
i was quite scared
but suddenly someone started to blow bubbles and we catched them
when we arrived at the concert i was probably high on happiness
the singer was unbeliveable cute,
while she was singing her curls jumped up and down and the mexican guy next to us was the master of disaster
in clapping every beat they played which made me just happier
after the concert serpil disappeared and ben started a conversation with the drummer
they talked for like..hours and we ended up in the backstage area,drinking more beer
we went home dancing in the rain i never slept that good,oh lovely berlin
today we went out to have breakfast and spent the whole evening on the fleamarket until we went home to order a loots of asian food

vouge italy

smith westerns-imagine pt.3

via

ps
only 3 days left


tennis-pigeon

so after 3 years of friendship,planning and ruin it all in the end, me and serpil finally booked a trip to berlin
i'll work at Mika Modiggård for school in the next two weeks and serpil will stay for a week,breathing pure freedom.
we all know it's fashionweek and i guess we'll see a few familiar faces
if anyone is interested in having a couple of drinks with us and get terrible wasted contact us

blumen.

Im Ginster
aus Schwaden von Erdbeerrauch
sah ich helle Gespenster sich raufen

mit Näschen in das Gesicht geschnallt
zerrten sie Löcher ins Buschwerk hinein

sublime Flügel klappten
im Takt
der Leuchttiere
wood wood
durch die Nacht

Silberdistelfrisuren zur Zier
mit Medusenspangen
umfangen

zog mir die Gaze fest um die Augen
sie sollten mich nicht
denn wenn sie
wie comme des garcons
ihre milchweißen Lider dir zeigen
bist du am Ende gebleichtes Papier